How to Actually Stay Motivated (Even When You Can’t Be Arsed)

Stuart McLay
Oct 1
3 min read

Forget “just do it.” Here’s how to build real, lasting motivation when life’s a lot.

There’s a massive problem with most motivation advice in the fitness world.

You’re either told:

👉 “Just get it done.”

👉 “You need to want it more.”

👉 “Learn to love it and you’ll never need motivation.”

And while some of that may be true at times… none of it actually helps when you feel unmotivated.

Because if it did, you wouldn’t still be stuck, tired, or frustrated, would you?

Let’s fix that.

I’m going to walk you through the real truth about motivation, the part nobody tells you.

You’ll learn exactly why you feel stuck, how to shift it, and what to do when the couch, the snacks, and the mental fatigue are winning.

💡 First, let’s bust a myth:

You’re not unmotivated.

You’re just more motivated…

– to rest because you’re shattered

– to scroll because it’s a mental break

– to eat because it numbs stress or chaos

And that’s not laziness. That’s human.

So what is motivation?

It’s not a feeling. It’s a skill.

And just like strength or confidence, it’s something you can build.

But only if you understand the 3 core drivers of motivation:

🔑 1. Autonomy

As humans we hate being told what to do, even by ourselves. If you feel like you're being forced to exercise, eat a certain way, or follow someone else’s rigid plan... you’ll resist it. Maybe not right away, but eventually we want to control our own life.

That’s why choosing your actions is key. Even just saying “I get to go for a walk” instead of “I have to walk” changes how it feels.

🧠 Tip: Make your plan yours. Not borrowed. Not forced. Yours.

🔑 2. Belonging

Ever felt like you didn’t fit in at the gym? That you were the only one struggling, or that everyone else seemed to know what they were doing?

Lack of belonging = instant demotivation. No one wants to be somewhere they don't fit it. But when you're surrounded by people who understand, support, and welcome you... Suddenly, you're more likely to show up, even on tired days.

🧠 Tip: Put yourself in environments where you’re seen and supported. Not judged or ignored.

🔑 3. Competency

We’re motivated to do what we feel good at. But if you constantly feel like you’re failing, you’ll eventually stop trying. What's the point in putting in loads of effort to go nowhere.

That’s why “go hard or go home” culture ruins motivation for so many beginners.

🧠 Tip: Start where you are, and build wins. Tiny ones. Repeatedly.

🚦 Motivation Is a Sliding Scale — Not All or Nothing

Most people think you either have motivation or you don’t. But it’s more like a ladder. And every level is valid.

Here's what that looks like:

External rewards – “I’ll treat myself if I hit 3 workouts.”
Pride – “I’m proud I showed up even when I didn’t want to.”
Clarity – “I get why this helps me — and I want that benefit.”
Identity – “This is who I am now. I take care of myself.”
Love – “I actually enjoy this. I look forward to it.”

You don’t need to jump to Level 5. You can use every level to get started.

And when you understand which one you’re on — and why — you can finally stop waiting for motivation to magically appear and start building it deliberately.

🎯 How to Create Motivation That Lasts

Ask yourself these questions — honestly:

Why should I care?
What’s the prize if I do this?
What am I proud of already?
What are the real benefits (and consequences) here?
How will this improve my life overall?
Who do I want to become?
What might I actually enjoy — if I gave it a fair shot?

You’ll be surprised how quickly these can shift your energy.

Motivation Recap

You’re not broken — you just need the right inputs.
You can train motivation the same way you train your body.
Autonomy, belonging, and competence are your cornerstones.
Use the motivation you do have, instead of waiting for the perfect spark.
Action → builds pride → builds belief → builds momentum.

🎁 Want help with this?

Inside The Body For Life Academy, this is exactly what we work on:

✅ Rebuilding confidence & competence from the ground up

✅ Personalised plans that give you autonomy

✅ Real support from a coach and a community where you actually belong

✅ Strength-based habits that make you feel good (even if you hate the gym)

📞 If you’re tired of feeling stuck, I offer free consultations where you can find out more.

Tap below to book one.

Let’s build something that actually works, for you, your life, and your energy.

Book Now